Batman Begins Parody Part 2

Here is part 2 of my Batman Begins movie parody. Hopefully I won't run out of jokes before the end.

Bruce is pulled out of the well. The maid apologizes for not whipping her child more often so that this accident wouldn't occur. Bruce's father assures her that everything is okay. He'll simply dock her pay.

After having stolen the arrowhead, wanting it just for the sake of wanting it, Bruce gives it back to Rachel.

“Took a nasty fall, eh?” asked Alfred.

“Any why do we fall, Bruce?” asked his father.

“To post it on YouTube.”

“Exactly.”

Bruce wakes up.

“Count von Count again?” asks his father.

“Yeah, he was counting how many years I had to live, saying '1, 2, 3 years to live. AH AH AH AH!'”

“You know why he attacked you right? All creatures feel fear.”

“Even Joan Rivers?”

“Especially Joan Rivers. Here I got something to show you.” Bruce's father pulls out a necklace.

“Dad, I told you, I wanted a baseball glove.”

“I think it's time to get up. You'll get bed sores, and I'll have to further dock the maid's pay.”

Bruce and his family ride the subway all dressed up nice.

“Did you build this train, dad?”

“I'm an architect, not a construction worker. I thought we went over this. I think you get your smarts from your mom's side.”

Bruce's mother stares blankly off into space with a smile on her face that could only come from heavy drug use.

“Gotham's been suffering. People have been enduring hard times. That's why we dress up in our finest clothes to remind them of their place in society. We use this new public transportation system to show it off. Also your mom likes the scent of urine. And at the center is my large porn industry in Wayne Tower.”

“Is that where you work?” asks Bruce.

“No, I work at the hospital. I leave the business to better men.”

“Better?”

“Well, hornier men.”

Bruce's mother smiles knowingly.

Bruce and his family go to see an opera, because eight-year-olds love the opera. Unfortunately, Count von Count is performing, “Can you count the corpses I have laid waste, 1, 2, 3 . . . three hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine, four hundred thousand, AH AH AH AH!”

Up in the balcony, Statler comments, “This movie is called Batman Begins?”

“I'm just looking for when Batman Ends.” responds Waldorf, and both laugh.

Bruce gets scared, pees his pants a little and even sharts himself. The audience grows restless before he and his family leaves.