Perhaps the list you have been waiting for, this is my list for the Worst Movies of 2013. A few things about this list: I do not watch every movie that comes out, so I am sure there are plenty of other movies (*cough*horrormovies*cough*) that are worse, but this is my list. This is not to say that you have to hate these movies, only that these had serious flaws to them. Above all, this should be used as fun, and to help you recognize bad movie making so you can recognize it in the future.
Dishonorable Mention
Epic
While the movie itself is decent enough, the animation in this film is terrible. The lip syncing to the unique voice acting does not line up. It is almost like watching a bad dubbed movie from the 1970s.
6. A Haunted House
I will start off by saying I have a guilty pleasure of watching spoof movies ever since the days of Hot Shots and the like. Even some of the poorer quality spoof movies of the past decade are worth one watch for a few laughs. I thought since one of the Wayans brothers was working on this, it would be on the level of Scary Movie, but this was not the case. There was just about nothing funny about this film. I am not sure if it is using crappy scary movie material in the form of Paranormal Activity, but it does not work. It does not help that Scary Movie 5 used the same thing, and it did not really work either. Scary Movies try to mold multiple plots together to make something generally new. This was like a straight rip off.
5. Despicable Me 2
Many people may disagree with my number 5 pick as it also did so well at the box office, but hear me out. This movie was made because the first one did so well, and the creators were not really sure why it did so well. They chalked it up to the lowest common denominator in the minions which end up being the worst part of the film. What made the first movie work so well was a funny bad guy, and a good guy who is supposed to be bad and is basically a fish out of water. The sequel did not know what it wanted to be. Gru lost all of his charm, most of the girls were sidelined for the film, and with no clear villain (unless you knew about the behind the scenes stuff that went on with Al Pacino bowing out), the plot was lost. As I said, the minions were the worst, laughing to themselves over the word "bottom" and gibbering nonsense. There were a couple funny scenes, but it was obvious the film makers did not know what to do with the characters in relation to what made the first film so good.
4. After Earth
Oh how this movie was terrible. The biggest fault of this film was casting Jaden Smith as the lead role. I understand why it was done, but it was the wrong choice. A little rewrite of the end, and swapping Zoe Kravitz to be the daughter who wants to excel and killing Jaden off in the past could have worked as a far greater movie. Jaden whining like a baby, his inability to act, and some of the weird things that happened in the end were just some of the major things that killed this movie. There were many other flaws with the film, but nepotism blinded them in seeing how the film could have been made better with different casting.
3. Fast and Furious 6
Let's face it, the Fast and the Furious movies are not meant to be high quality films, but there was so much unbelievable things happening in this movie, suspension of disbelief was not an option. Vin Diesel flying across a bridge at high speed to land on another car and not suffer serious injuries, an obvious Formula 1 style car that is on par with an American muscle car, and to top it all off, a 12+ minute chase down a runway. Plus them shooting harpoons into a plane's wing to pull it down instead of, oh I don't know, shooting the harpoons into the engines so it can't take off? I won't go into how bad the writing is, or how good guys turned heel for no good reason, but suffice to say, the Fast and Furious movies are some of the worst films out there. If you want a really good laugh, skip to near the end when Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson are having a conversation. They are facing each other but standing a couple feet to their sides. Dwayne then takes one step closer which forces an optical illusion similar to what they did in Lord of the Rings with forced perspective. This makes Vin Diesel look like a very tiny person. I laughed so hard at that, and it was the only good thing about this film.
2. Movie 43
I am sure most other critics put Movie 43 at the top of their lists for Worst Movies of 2013, but for me, it came runner up. There actually were a handful of scenes that were funny. Still, the obvious effort to gross out the audience in every scene was evident. The film really tried to make you as uncomfortable as possible. The level of actors they managed to get in the film actually helped it from not being a complete pile of shit. No name actors in the same roles would not have been as interesting to watch. By no means are the few funny scenes worth watching this film.
1. This is the End
Imagine an action movie with no action. Imagine a mystery movie with no mystery. Imagine an adventure movie with no adventure. Now imagine a comedy movie that is not funny at all. What do you get? This is the End. Not only is this film not funny, it's borderline offensive. Even Emma Watson cursing like a sailor could not save this film. There is a whole meta going on in the film that Seth Rogen and his friends can't act, and they play themselves, so they play themselves in this film. But Seth Rogen and his friends are not funny. The novelty of having so many cameos of celebrities died as soon as they all died. You are left with the same Seth Rogen crew in every one of his films. They tried to tie it into the Biblical writings of the book of Revelations, but it is obvious none of them read it, or at the very least skimmed. I am not saying the movie has to be accurate when it comes to that, but it would be like a movie saying "That book about Cesar; yeah, he was a NASCAR fan living in Alabama." If you thought Movie 43 was bad, at least Movie 43 did not have Jonah Hill being raped in the ass by a demon. My only hope is that This is the End of Seth Rogen making films, along with many of his friends.
So that is my list of the Worst Movies of 2013. Let's hope 2014 has some better films!
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